Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
