I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
