the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
