:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize