I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
