so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
