Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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