i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
It's shark week go big or go home
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
