The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
