Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
