Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
