His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
