This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
