i just google imaged poop.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
