I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize