tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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