No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Randomize
