i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
