Yo dont text me then not text me
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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