having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
