Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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