I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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