Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
