I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
