brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
