No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
