if we break up, who will get the dealer?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
