Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
