Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
