will power is for people who don't want to get laid
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
