He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
