When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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