You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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