Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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