I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
you never un-have a 4some
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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