Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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