just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
