Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
