Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
