D3 body, D1 cock
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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