Where are you?
In a non slutty way
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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