Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize