I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
