The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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