I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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