The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Randomize
