I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
