I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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