Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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