I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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