I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
