and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
