Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
it hurts more in the daytime
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
