I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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