Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize