My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
