Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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