Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
