Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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