Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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