Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
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