I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
