no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize
