So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
