let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
