No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
