I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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