So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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