Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
