so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
