I love black thongs
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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