My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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