Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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