I have demons in me.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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