Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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