Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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